Can we have it all? Good work & good love…or do we have to choose?
In the post #12: Lilian Part II-Loneliness Unmasked, I wondered…
“how, if you are living your Vision (life’s work) to its fullest, does a romantic relationship fit in there? How does one balance relationships with people with ones relationship with her Vision? I have also often wondered if the reason that I am not currently in a relationship is related to the fact that I may need to give so much of myself to my Vision. I wonder if my Higher Power or the Universe knows best and if that is why I don’t have that romantic relationship right now. Maybe space is being made for me to do what I was meant to do.”
I ended this post acknowledging that more would be revealed, and it has. As Lilian (Burwell) told me on that visit, we do not know a thing until we live it. I have since spoken to other women who have told me of the challenges they face trying to balance career and family (especially children). I have wondered about that for me. While currently single and without children (save for my beagle Rex, who is easy as pie), I have tried to imagine how I will accomplish all my work Visions and realize my other Visions of marriage and family. Why does it seem so often that these Visions must compete? How will I be able to fit these pieces together and achieve some sort of balance? I am not the type to willingly give up anything that I desire.
So…the other day I looked up and found myself in love! Yes it came out of nowhere…a very welcome surprise and a blessing to be sure. I have noticed since that occurrence many shifts in my thinking. The most current iteration of my life’s Vision did not account for a relationship. I was just going to live my life, focus on manifesting my Visions and within the next two years have a child, whether single or not. I figured if I was to be married or something of that sort that would just have to happen, but I was not going to effort in that direction (love has to be more organic than that for me). So I wanted organic and that’s what I got. Now I find myself thinking…”wait I need to probably make some adjustments in my plan (also not a strong suit for me). Relationships take time and energy. Living my Vision takes a lot of time and energy. I’m scared…what if I abandon or neglect my Vision because of my feelings for this man? What if he demands some of my time and energy that I had planned to devote to my Vision? Worse still, what if I get married and start a family and just forget about my Vision all together and then look up one day and have regret?” No! (this is the part where I start to panic and want to run off and buy a farm on lots of land to raise my daughter and Rex and all the horses, and chickens and goats we plan to keep).
Okay…wait! STOP! That is not living in the present moment. In the present none of those fears are coming true. Why do I insist on doing this future thinking thing? In my heart of hearts I know that it will all work out, that my Higher Power will provide whatever I need to fulfill my purpose on earth. In the meantime I think I will just enjoy the intoxication of love
Vision Quest Survey Report: as of today, 139 women have completed it! My Goal= 1000.
(first posted 7.16.09)
