I began my last post by asking if you ever feel like giving up on your Vision?
I received a few comments that confirmed what I already knew…I am not the only one who ever feels like this. I was feeling demoralized because a big part of my Vision, namely doing the Success Retreat for Women, was not coming together as I hoped it would. After putting it out there (marketing etc.) I was getting very little response and it was looking as if the retreat might not go off. Then on top of this my co-facilitator took a full time job and would not really be available. The energy was somehow wrong and I wondered if maybe I was on the wrong path and whether or not what I was offering was of value to others. I ultimately had to make a very tough decision. I decided to postpone the retreat and maybe start smaller. I thought the 3-day retreat was small enough! I was angry and disappointed and frankly felt like I had failed.
After a few days of feeling down about this I had to re-group. I decided to go smaller and, with the help of a friend, was setting up a meeting in Philadelphia with a group of women for Sept. 17. It was perfect because at the same time I would be attending the Governor’s Conference for Women. Groovy! Maybe the retreat wasn’t happening yet but I had this to look forward to. This was definitely forward movement! Then the call with my friend in Philly came…They are not having a good time in the city, budget cuts, programs ending, closures of all kinds set for Oct. 2. Apparently these occurrences are not lending themselves to an atmosphere where a group of women want to sit down and discuss Visions and taking their careers to the next level. What is that sound that Pacman used to make when he got eaten up by the ghosts? I think I understand how he felt
Then I got a call from another friend. She wanted to know how the retreat was filling up because she had registered for it and wanted to make sure it was going off. I went home to get on line to find out that she and another woman had just registered! What?! 2 people who were going to come? I mean it was only Sept. 14. Aaaaaaarggg! What had I done? Was I too nervous and jumpy? Should I have ignored the advice of friends and advisors? Had I pulled the plug too quickly? This occurence basically led me to conclude that I had no idea what I’m doing.
I am now RE-re-grouping. I am tempted to say I am feeling confused by this turmoil and how I am feeling but this is not entirely true. The truth is that I am getting a clear message from the universe to slow down, back up and don’t force it. I hear the message but am not really ready to surrender to this invective just yet…slowly I will get there but there is still a bit of fight in me right now. I want so much to MAKE something happen RIGHT NOW!, but ultimately I know this is not how Visions manifest. So PATIENCE again? Yes…patience again.
Stay tuned till next time (psst…secretly I do know something good is coming soon).
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