Lilian with one of her creations
Today the quest took me to Highland Beach near Annapolis. I went there to interview and visit with my friend, artist, Lilian Burwell, but really I was in search of answers. How Lilian came to be in my life is another story (certainly worth telling, but not just now). Lilian lives and works here near the beach in a peaceful beautiful home filled with her creations. Being with her is always an adventure and a treat. Lilian is like a g*ddess, beautiful and wise and mischevious, not to mention a Gemini like myself. I wanted to interview Lilian for the book I am writing on women and their Visions because I see her as a woman who is living her Vision. She just published a book titled “A Dichotomy of Passions: The Two Masters” and I wanted to get a copy from her. I also knew, that as always, she would have something to tell me that I needed to hear.
When Lilian and I are together it is a bit crazy…two Geminis who never stop talking, but today I was much more in the mood to just listen. When one Gemini is 38 and the other is an almost 82 year old, much accomplished woman, it is a no-brainer which one needs to shut up and listen. At brunch I had just launched into telling her about my Vision, about the book and this blog and the retreats I have planned, when she cut me off. At first I was perturbed, but then I realized that I was getting an answer to one of the big questions I had come seeking answers for. What she said was that she used to tell her students how important it was to have your own vision, to do what you love, not what others think you should do, and that it did not matter what others thought of you or the work, but what mattered was that you needed to love that thing. She said, the money does not matter, what matters is that you do what you love even if you need to have another job to support that addiction (Vision). I came to see her plagued with doubts about the value of my own Vision…wondering if anybody even wanted what I am offering, worrying about the perceived lack of response to what I am putting out there even though I know it is from my heart. Lilian, this oracle of Highland Beach was telling me what my Higher Power had been trying to tell me in so many ways over the past week. If you feel it do it! and don’t worry about the life it takes on or about judging it…just do it. This was so important for me to hear, because I struggle with this all the time. I’m doing what I want but get too caught up in the results.
We talked about so much more today…we did do the interview and after we went to the beach to cool out and enjoy the sunshine. I could probably write 5 pages on just this one day with Lilian. I could also tell you about the second burning question I came down with and what her answer was about that…but I’ll save it for another installment.
(first posted 4.26.09)
Nicole – I’ve been reading your blog and have wanted to comment with something as eloquent and profound as your posts. I admire your go-get-it style and your many passions for following your dreams and vision. I’ve been thinking about what my vision is and I don’t know what it is – is that right? I know that I get up every morning, go to work and get a paycheck so that I can pay my bills and use the rest to enjoy the extras. I can’t find any visions, muchless my own in that lifestyle so my question to you is…How do you proceed in finding out what your vision should be?
This submission came from Jellyfish in Bethesda,MD
I shy away from a Vision as I don’t want to have to try and make it happen. My vision would be to live by the ocean and spend my days doing art and being with people….I am in business and not willing to give up the bill paying work to run after a dream which may not happen and if it does…I may not really want. And if I go live at the ocean, I want my close friends to come with me. Friends – beach…friends – beach….friends – beach. The friends win.
I’m in the market for a house. My Vision wants cathedral ceilings, large elegant bath, huge windows and a close in location. Doesn’t seem to be in my price range. Do I compromise? Am I deficient in that I don’t have the faith to make my Vision happen?
I actually identify with both Joan and Jellyfish’s comments. I have always encountered and continue to encounter fear in the process of living my Vision. Yes sometimes I don’t want to admit that I want something b/c then I have no excuse for not going for it. What I try to do is recognize when I have fear then what I usually do is make a decision that fear is a terrible reason for not doing something. I may have resistance for other reasons too but if it’s fear then too bad. It isn’t easy for me at all but I would rather face fear than regret or the knowledge that I am staying put out of fear.
I remember distinctly when I did not have a so-called Vision. I had finished grad school and had already realized that I did not want to be a clinical psychologist in a traditional sense. I realized I did not have a passion or thought I did not so I set out to find one. I read a lot of books and prayed a lot to my Higher Power to help me find my passion. One book I read and got a lot out of was by Barbara Sher, “I Could do Anything if Only I Knew What it Was” I also found prayers about just this thing in a book by Marianne Williamson; “Illuminata” The other thing I did was follow my instincts no matter how small. I wanted a burning bush but sometimes all I got was a tiny puff of smoke. If that’s all I got I went with it until eventually the Vision got clearer and the passion got stronger. In many ways I ended up doing much of what I always did as a little girl. I always painted and wrote and created things. I was kind of a natural therapist to those around me. What did you want to be when you were little?
Nicole