G*ddess of Fire Night & Magic
On January 15, 2011 at the “Taking Your Dreams from Design to Destiny” Women’s Conference Ananda Leeke will be presenting a special talk entitled “Who’s Living Inside of Me?” Ananda’s presentation offers participants an opportunity to meet the personalities or archetypes living inside of them and to discover how these archetypes shape our dreams and ultimately our destiny.
I have always known that there are many distinct aspects to my personality. Perhaps being a Gemini led to the acceptance of this at an early age. Whenever someone asked me which “twin” they were seeing, my response was always “there aren’t just two of me.”
I have long been fascinated with the female archetypes that live in our collective unconscious. This fascination led to the research and creation that went into my “Reclaiming the G*ddess” series of paintings. Although that search was fuelled specifically by a need to find and excavate images of the feminine divine, divinity is just one aspect of the feminine archetype. In fact there is no finite number of feminine archetypes.
Many of us embody several female and male archetypes. Ananda has defined five distinct personalities with different names. I have defined four and these aspects hold derivations of my name.
Green Tara G*ddess of Compassion
Who lives inside of you?
I first gave conscious thought to naming the different aspects of myself when I was about 35. My boyfriend at the time used to refer to them without provocation from me. When he began asking “who is this talking now?” I decided to clarify…
Nicky-playful wild little girl, mishevious vixen, funny, eternal romantic and major flirt
Nicole-the unifying even aspect of my person, rational, thoughtful observer. Most often in control of the show.
Rhona-no-nonsense business woman, very intellectual, driven, focused, a bit zipped up, conservative, sometimes prudish
Nick-tough no-nonsense fighter, protector of the rest, bold, brash, irreverent, powerfully sexy, fearless warrior woman.
Internal Struggle:
Xaymaca From Within the Cave
Later on two separate occasions while working with two different body work coaches to get past some blocks I discovered that there were also two distinct aspects of myself that were at the root of this stuckness. What I learned is that they, like all aspects of myself are well intentioned and want what they see as best for me, but these two were in opposition and this was hampering my progress around my work. I was frustrated because my Vision was clear but the way I was working did not reflect this clarity nor the passion I felt for it.
Professor Cutts/Soft Mama-is content to stay inside working slowly and thoroughly toward our goals, but she did not want to go outside and deal with the harsh realities of doing business is the big bad world. She wanted someone else to go out there and do it and leave her be with her books, nesting activities and lots of naps.
Nujalik: G*ddess of the Hunt
Kali/Superhero in Black-wants it all now, she is demanding, impatient and ego driven, her motto is “get out of my way or die!” She would destroy whatever gets in her way and enjoy standing atop the heap of the carcasses of her enemies. She can get it done but is often too impatient to focus.
With both Marilyn and Ken I discovered how to work with these disparate forces, discovering that my job is not to suppress either of them but hear them, understand their needs and intentions and call on the right one in the right occasions, not letting either one run the show entirely because they are too extreme in their own ways. Professor Cutts needs to be at work when writing, researching, preparing and nurturing herself. Kali can be called on when we need a fighter and to make those public appearances that call for performance. She’s great on stage. She is also the one to invoke when feeling fearful or defeated because she defeats all and fears none.
The Supreme Being
So now it’s your turn…
Who lives inside of you? When did you discover them? What are their names and what are they like? How well do they play together? What have you learned from them?
Drop me a line and share your discoveries.
To learn more register for “Taking Your Dreams from Design to Destiny” Women’s Conference!
As a fellow gemini, I can identify with your quote, “there aren’t just two of me,” and often feel I have many sides that I reveal at different times. Years ago, I got a tattoo of a ying-yang to symbolize my inner-gemini, but two sides don’t do me justice. Certain sides come out when I’m very comfortable with those around me, while I reserve other sides when the situation calls for them. I’ve got an organized/homebody mama, cute little girl who likes attention/charmer, warrior woman whose toes you don’t want to step on, spontaneous, comedienne extraordinaire, serious/ focused woman…tbc
Parts of the Whole…
I, too, subscribe to the idea that more than one woman lives inside me. At a self-development retreat, I was introduced to the concept of the emotional child, the intellectual self, the body, and the spiritual self, and while those resonate, I prefer to think of four characters with names, who guide my life by committee.
My most immature is Joy. She is my most trained and patterned self, diligent at being a good girl, taking care of other people, and making sweetness and light. She is wonderful, but not fully backboned. She is lovely, but had no edge. Joy is also blind to herself — when she is in action, it’s training at work, not a true personality.
My most rebellious is Jo. She dropped the “y” from Joy and grabbed the power that came from that nakedness. Her goal is not to make a ruckus, but she’s not above it, if required. She knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it. She is accomplished and intense. She is provocative. Her prime goal is self-satisfaction — whatever venue or form that requires.
My most centered is Joey. Opting for balance between sweetness and spice, she is the most emotionally advanced of my selves. When I am at my best, she is there — arbitrating Joy and Jo, combining the best elements of both with a wisdom neither possesses. She is who I count on when the chips are down, not to fight any battle, but to sagely assess and address. Joey is genuinely generous, gratefully gracious, politely proud, and effortlessly energetic. She is the ideal me.
And my final self is nameless. She’s my spirit-self, the part of me that is outside of me, on a different plane, ethereal. She is who I am when I pray, when I drop deeply into meditation, when I lose myself in a run, when I’m between that place of wakefulness and sleep. She is the voice in my gut and my connection with God. She is the part of me that’s part of eternity and the universe.
I’ve come to love all of them. What’s more I know I need all of them, at different times, in different places. And as long as I’m careful not to let Joy or Jo drive all the time, I don’t mind if they give some direction from the back seat or zip me around the block now and again. For the long haul, I’ll count on Joey and my nameless self…and look forward to discovering who else we might meet along the way.