The Vision Quest Chronicles: Tales of Living One's Vision

Part II of “When is a Relationship a Detour from Your Destiny?” (see below for part I)

So what have you done when you have determined that a relationship is in fact a detour from your destiny? Drop us a line here or come by Vision Quest Retreats on FB and tell us about it.

If you are a woman on the Heroine’s Quest pursuing your Vision of Success join our tribe at theVision Quest Retreats face book page

If you are a Woman Business Owner come play with us every Wed. at Women Owned Business Wednesdays; a 24 Hr Happy Hour where you meet cool people and win cool stuff!

How do you know when is a relationship a really a detour from Your Destiny?

If you are a woman pursuing your Vision on the Heroine’s Quest join our tribe at theVision Quest Retreats face book page

If you are a Woman Business Owner come play with us every Wed. at Women Owned Business Wednesdays; a 24 Hr Happy Hour where you meet cool people and win cool stuff!

This latest update from the Heroine’s Quest is about moving through fear to claim your destiny. Check it out…

You are also invited to our next ONLINE Naked* Networking Event; a Book Chat and Giveaway with the author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey, Dr. Alianna Maren Wed. October 19 from 7:30-8:30 PM EST on the Vision Quest Retreats Facebook Page.

Join our tribe of women on the Heroine’s Quest! Please like our VQR FB pg and Join our mailing list by clicking “join mailing list” on the home pg of this site Vision Quest Retreats.

Click to Learn more about Unveiling: The Inner Journey

*Disclaimer-This is a virtual event held on Facebook and no nudity is involved (I had to put this disclaimer for people who, for some reason, don’t get that “naked” is a euphemism for baring their true selves)

Contemplation, Preparation or Procrastination? Watch this video, read these tips and tell me what you think?

Sitting down to write after 2 weeks off. I feel like I’m pushing a 2-ton boulder up a steep hill in the mental landscape of my mind. I had only just started when I pushed away from my writing table and tried to sit still while listening to the Gregorian chants from the Choir of Benedictine Nuns to center myself and prepare to write. I was able to write a little bit after this but it hasn’t gotten much better.

When do you push through writer’s block and when do you give up and turn your attention elsewhere? Some days are just like this. Trying to be productive doing other important things like this vlog. Going for a walk at the river in a minute to clear my head and get some exercise. That often works to get me past blocks.

View the video above to see the day’s results and get some tips on overcoming writer’s block and writer’s clog (my newly invented term).

Try these tips for overcoming writer’s block and writer’s clog:

1) Just write whatever comes to mind for 10 mins.

2) If it’s not coming turn your attention elsewhere then come back in an hour or less. You can do other work or take some exercise in this time.

3) Don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself. It is more encouraging.

4) Set your clock and just write for .5 hrs or an hr. no matter how it feels. (just do your best and accept that the work does not always flow.)

5) If it’s just not coming let it go and try another day.

6) Create a reward for any accomplishment toward your writing goal and celebrate what you did do (again the idea is that this is more encouraging than beating yourself up).

7) Consider getting a writing coach, a service I offer via my success coaching practice.  I worked with Tisa Silver, author of “The Time Value of Life” because even coaches need coaches.

NOTE: If you are a heroine or hero on the quest join our online tribes at Vision Quest Retreats & Women Owned Business Wednesdays!

One more reason to dislike the so called TV News. (Read prior to watching video)
Rex (my adorable 5 yr old Beagle) and I were doing something that I’ve been doing for about 20 years; walking on the C&O Canal/Billy Goat trail near my mom’s house, the house I grew up in, when we were stopped to be interviewed by a “journalist” about the “funny” smell (which I couldn’t smell) at the canal and the construction project going on there.

FOX 5 Investigates: Potomac Interceptor: MyFoxDC.com

The reporter was really excited to tell me that the “stench” was sewage and after really hyping up how awful it was and making a lot of other very leading statements asked me how I felt about the situation. I told her the smell wasn’t bad at all and that I only sometimes smelled anything bad at all there. She probed further, “How do you FEEL about the fact that this is VA sewage coming through MD on it’s way to DC?!” “Uh” I replied, “I’d have to know more about it.” Wrong answer again! Apparently I don’t need to know anything I just need to be really upset about this “tragedy” even if I know nothing like who this helps, who it hurts, who perhaps gets work or a job out of it. That apparently is irrelevant. I’m just supposed to care that you are stinking up MY nature walk that I have the privilege to take in the middle of the day when most people, including the people digging the sewer lines, are hard at work.

When all else failed she asked me what I liked about the canal. I told her I loved the greenery and the peace and quiet. She broke in quickly, pointing a finger toward the construction “Yeah except for THAT noise huh?” Again no go…I said “Actually I hardly hear it. I walk on the Billy Goat trail and once you get in the woods you can’t even hear it.” She looked pretty annoyed by this point and thanked me so I could move on.I apologized for not being a good interviewee, as I had not told her what she seemed to want to hear (so desperately I might add). She assured me that I was “great” before taking some B roll footage of me and Rex walking away (into obscurity). Well at least we LOOKED good. Needless to say my comments ended up on the cutting room floor and this is what she reported instead.

You can see us walking during the opening montage while “Funky Town” plays in the background.

P.S. Rex wishes he could have been here to comment but he is off reading his fan mail.

How do YOU find balance between, work, play and pursuing your passions?
Dr. Nicole Cutts shares her experience as an entreprenuer, success coach, author, social butterfly and mom of a 5 yr old Beagle.

If you are a woman pursuing your Vision on the Heroine’s Quest join our tribe at the Vision Quest Retreats face book page

If you are a Woman Business Owner join us every Wed. for Women Owned Business Wednesdays; a 24 Hr Happy Hour!

How do YOU find balance between, work, play and pursuing your passions?
Dr. Nicole Cutts shares her experience as an entreprenuer, success coach, author, social butterfly and mom of a 5 yr old Beagle.

If you are a woman pursuing your Vision on the Heroine’s Quest join our tribe at the Vision Quest Retreats face book page

If you are a Woman Business Owner join us every Wed. for Women Owned Business Wednesdays; a 24 Hr Happy Hour!

Additional Video Info: This is part II of this video shot 9/10/11. The part that got chopped out was that I found the weekend especially challenging due to my alma mater; Howard University… HU!!! playing a big football game against Morehouse. BTW we won somehow even without my support at the game and subsequent after parties.

Right now I am working on “My Story” which is the story of how I have arrived at the point of living my vision of success as I unfold my dharma; the work I am uniquely qualified to bring to the world. Sometimes this part of the journey is plagued by self doubt…

Recorded 8.27.11

Visit our online communities Vision Quest Retreats & Women Owned Business Wednesdays

Do “Bitches” Get Ahead in Business?

Me trying to look like a tough B*tch

First off let me be clear. When I say “bitch” I am referring to Mean Girls, (not women who set boundaries and get what they need.) I ask this question because I have had a few too many encounters with women lately who seem unwilling to support one another (unless they are making money for it) and seem to be doing ok or quite well in their businesses. My belief is that when you are stingy and witholding of support and act from a place of competition and scarcity that you ultimately will not succeed, but am I wrong?

My Pop

Does being a “nice guy” mean you will be taken for a fool? I’m thinking of my father who was a physician, an OBGYN in fact, who was the kindest most generous hardworking man I have ever known. He worked a lot and really cared about his patients and their families. I never recall him refusing service to anyone because they could not pay. Sometimes these were even women who had received medical treatment, had bounced checks, had failed to pay him and came back for more. He would try to set boundaries but always decided in the end that he would rather let the money go and just treat the patient.

A part of me is like my pop. I try to help people where I can and am not too focused on getting paid for every little thing I do. I like to help people and can’t be bothered to think how to “monetize” this all the time. It just feels wrong. In terms of my success this has not seemed to hurt me because I do not want for anything, but there is something that I notice that I do not like. Some women that I have dealt with in business and a few too many recently, frankly seem to try and take advantage of this to create exploitative relationships. I recently had a woman who basically asked me to not post any information on her Facebook wall because I was not a member of her group (you have to pay to belong to her group so they then support you), turn around about three months later and ask me to promote her conference on my group’s Facebook wall! I thought this was kind of ballsy of her after telling me to stay off her wall unless I paid her, but in keeping with my values of sharing and non-retaliation I told her to feel free to post the information on the wall during our online networking event. She told me she would be “busy” and suggested again that I do it as “it would look better coming from the leader” of my group. I’m sure it would, but this is when I really started to think that my being a “nice guy” was leading her to take me for a fool as she basically was asking me to endorse her event.  I have recently concluded that being a nice guy ceases to be about that when you do not set proper boundaries and allow people to take advantage of you.

See, here is a part of my problem. I sometimes feel bad when I set boundaries that I should. In short I feel like I’m being a “bitch” when I say “no” to someone who is trying to take advantage, clearly does not have good intentions or is unkind in some way. I also know that feeling like a bitch is sometimes a bi-product of setting boundaries when what you have really been doing is people pleasing.  My challenge is learning how to keep acting from a place of love and abundance without being a doormat or swinging in the other direction and becoming a mean, stingy, competitive person.

Women Owned Business Wednesdays and Vision Quest Retreats both have a “NO MEAN GIRLS POLICY” for a reason. I would rather have good quality, kind, loving women in my circle that truly believe in abundance and sharing and who do not seek to get ahead by taking advantage of others. I’m going to stick with this and keep working on remaining open and loving AND setting healthy boundaries!

I would love to hear your experience with this. Have you had similar experiences? If so how do you handle them and what have you learned?

Much continued success & well being,

Nicole a.k.a. The Success Doc, Founder Vision Quest Retreats & Women Owned Business Wednesdays

P.S. I’m sorry if the word “bitch” offends you…see there I go again trying to people please!!