The Vision Quest Chronicles: Tales of Living One's Vision

Beatrix Potter as a young woman

Is there less stigma today placed on an unmarried woman living her Vision of Success than there was in the Victorian age? 

and…

How have expanded choices for “modern” women affected our ability to live our Visions fully?

Have the expectations tied to gender roles really changed that much?  Consider these scenes from the movie Ms. Potter about the life of mycologist, artist, conservationist and author Beatrix Potter (1866-1943).

Scene 1: Potter as a young girl is already a budding naturalist, artist and story teller. She and her brother have just chased a rabbit around the garden and Beatrix returns to her mother her dress and face covered in mud. Upon seeing her daughter, Potter’s mother is asks… “What man wants to marry a girl with mud on her face?”  She goes on to explain that Beatrix must marry. Reminding her that her grandmother married and she married and that one day she too will marry but Beatrix says “Well I shant. I will draw.” 

Her mother’s response? “Oh those silly drawings. Then who will love you?”

Who indeed? How many of us have received this same message from well meaning mother’s? Stay clean, be ladylike, demure, quiet, don’t intimidate men with your smarts, or other abilities? Is there truth in this admonishment?

What was Beatrix’s response to her mother’s question? “My art and my animals…I don’t need more love than that.”

Scene 2: As an young unmarried woman in her early 30’s Beatrix has finally decided after years of drawing and writing short stories to take her work around to try and get it published. Narrating, she says “an unmarried woman was expected, after all, to behave in a very particular way, which did not include traipsing from publisher to publisher with a gaggle of friends.” These friends, by the way, included her characters Peter Rabbit and Benjamin Bunny and she tells them “We can’t stay home all our lives and we must look at this as an adventure.”

What were you taught about how you were to behave as a woman? Did it include striking out on your own, without the aid or protection of a man, to live your Vision? 

How many times have you been told it is best to stay home, where you are safe? Perhaps warned of the dangers of putting yourself out there.

Have these same Victorian ages been passed down to you, to many of us?

Scene 3: Beatrix is introduced to her publisher’s unorthodox and also unmarried sister. The sister asks Beatrix “When did you know you wouldn’t marry?” Potter explains that after a trail of suitors were trotted before her one of her remaining suitors married someone else and that “I knew my mother would bring me no more suitors and that I would never marry, and that shocked me. Then I felt relieved and that shocked me then I went into the garden and filled a whole notebook with sketches.”

What does this say about the possibilities for where one might channel her energy if not toward a marriage, running a household, raising children or care taking others? Are we modern women encouraged to view this as a favorable choice or outcome or to see it as some fate that just might await us if we are unmarried.

Consider the image of the “successful eligible bachelor” think George Clooney v.s. “the successful unmarried woman” think Oprah. Are the expectations and the value given to these roles equal? Does it sometimes seem that the reward for a (heterosexual) woman who pursues and obtains her Vision of Success is a sort of second-place spinsterhood?

What’s your experience?

If you are a woman (21+) I invite you to submit your story for possible inclusion in a book on the state of  women living their Visions of Success.

Black Enterprise (June, 2010)

How do you know when it’s time to let go or give up on a dream or vision that you have been pursuing?

How do you know when something is not meant for you? A very successful woman that I know asked me this the other day and I thought it was a great question.  This was also a huge example of synchronicity because  journalist Tamara E. Holmes had just asked me the same question for an article she was writing for Black Enterprise Magazine. I had never had a coaching client ask me this question and I have never had to ask myself this in the course of pursuing my Visions of Success.  I have always just relied on my instinct to tell me when something is right or wrong for me, but apparently this answer does not always come so easily for some folks. I think only you know when to let go or keep pressing on to pursue your goals.

I am curious what your answer is to this question.   Check out the Black Enterprise article “Letting Go” (June, 2010), if you want to read one woman’s account of what she did and hear some advise from the experts.

Feel free to drop me a line with your response to the article and the question…

When is it time to let go of your dream?

P.S. To add your voice to the book I’m writing on women living their visions please take The Vision Quest Survey!

Falls at the Hot Springs

I am back from my Costa Rican birthday adventure and still absorbing it all.  WOW! What a trip it was.  We managed to avoid earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and landslides to have an awesome time.  If you are a lover of nature as I am, Costa Rica  is a dream come true.  I saw more new plants and animals and gorgeous vistas than I can record.  If you wish to see some of my photos of the amazing flora and fauna please visit Vision Quest Retreats.

On our last day we awoke to brilliant sunshine on the adjacent mountainside. After a day of pouring rain this was a very welcome sight.  We decided to get up early and try to see the Poas Volcano which is a crater like stratovolcano near the Peace Lodge where we were staying. After an amazingly good breakfast of gallo pinto, scrambled eggs, fried plantain, fried cheese and coffee, we set off.  The drive up to the volcano was about 40 mins.  It was a misty day as we made out way up the winding hilly roads past dairy and strawberry farms. The hilly landscape was very wet and green as we made our way up into the cloud forest. Once to the national park we walked up a road to see the volcano but the clouds had returned and we could see nothing.  Our guide pointed out where you could barely make out the edge of the crater lake through the fog, but as we waited for it to clear more it never did.  I was disappointed but at least we tried.

Black-Handed Spider Monkey

Once back at the Peace Lodge I went to say good bye to my animal friends who live there.  This was my biggest treat of the day because when I went to the monkey enclosure two of the Black-Handed Spider Monkeys, Mancha and Esperanza, came over to greet me.  They had grown accustomed to me in the past three days so they came over to the cage wall and Mancha stuck her hand out for me to take it.  It was as if she knew I had come to say goodbye.  Then she snaked her long tail out toward me so I put my finger out and she wrapped her strong tail around my finger and pulled it closer.  I continued to enjoy this little encounter and to play with her little hands for a while before saying my final adios to head into the butterfly house.

Once there I just stood and watched the enormous iridescent Blue Morhpos dance about in the air and chase each other around.  Like on my first day there was no one in the place so I was able to enjoy the peace and beauty in total silence. I stood for a long while memorizing the scene before my eyes very aware that this was a memory that I would keep with me forever and pull out at a later date…one of those special times that you tuck away for later in life when you are old and looking back.

Before leaving the Peace Lodge

I ended my good byes in the aviary then made my way to the room to finish packing and head to the lobby where a driver was to take us to the airport in San Jose.  I had a few moments in the room to myself to just look around and take it in, which I did…very grateful for this magical week in Costa Rica to celebrate 40 yrs on this awesome planet.

Click to participate in the Vision Quest Project !

a rainy day at the Peace Lodge

We were supposed to trek to see the Poas volcano today but it rained almost the entire day! It began after breakfast and kept going and going and the wind was howling about the place.  At first it was cozy to sit inside by the fire but after a while I wanted to get out.  I tried taking a nap and managed a brief one before suiting up to head out into what had now turned into heavy mist.

It was actually quite pleasant and cool so I wore my sweater and jeans and my awesome Keen trekking shoes. I stopped in the aviary at the bottom of the hill and was able to see some species of birds that I did not see yesterday. I also got to watch them feed the hawks a mice and  a rat…yuck!

From here I did a pass through the butterfly house. As it was late in the day most of them had gone to sleep but I still got to see some very pretty species before checking on the couple of two-toed sloths who live there.  Those two NEVER move but stay huddled up together like two lovers who need nothing but each other.

After the butterflies I stopped by to see my monkey friends.  I love those guys.  One of them likes to come to the fence and show me his belly.  Today he did this whole approach retreat routine before snaking his long tail out of the fencing at me so I could touch his tail.  He curled it around my finger and I was in love.  He must have known what he was doing because after that when he reached this same tail out to try and grab some leaves I was all too happy to help by plucking them for him and passing the treats through the fence.  Yes I am a sucker.

Blue-sided Leaf Frog

After parting from my new best friend I was off into the forest to visit the waterfalls again.  It was lovely misty and cool in there today but the waterfalls, rather than being white, where all brown from all the rain. I had a nice walk down into the tropical woods then took the bus back up the hill to the hotel.

Later, the frogs, the hummingbirds again and finally dinner and to the room where I tried out the hot tub on the balcony.  It was nice to soak in the hot water after the cold rainy day and to feel the fresh air around me.  I had gotten in bed but could not sleep so decided to write what may be my last post from this place.

Blue Morpho (Morpho Peleides)

Today was my 40th birthday and I am happy to say it was a magical day! I am at the Peace Lodge in Varablanca, Costa Rica and they have all sorts of animal habitats on the grounds here. When I woke up this morning the first place that I went was to visit the monkeys but when I saw that I was right next to the butterfly house I had to go in there.  It was early and I was blissfully alone and left to wonder around by myself.  All manner of butterflies dotted the air and lighted on the plants filling this tropical setting.  Of course my favorite butterflies, the blue morphos were there.  Several of them chased each other around the place, their iridescent blue wings flashing in the sunlight. I made an interesting discovery.  I found a butterfly on the ground that had expired so I had the chance to examine this perfect specimen up close.  I looked at the underside of her wings, the dull brown side, but what I found was that this side was really not dull at all.  It might have lacked the same iridescent color but the intricate pattern was one I could easily get lost in.  There was so much more going on, on this underside than I would have at first imagined.  I was delighted to have the chance to take this in.

Green-crowned Brilliant Hummingbird

There were two other highlights to my magical birthday.  I visited the hummingbird garden and had a chance to feed the hummingbirds.  You are given feeders filled with nectar to hold and the little jeweled creatures come down and light on the feeders and on your fingers while they poke their beaks and their even longer tongues into the sweet juice while drinking very rapidly.  Hummingbirds dart and buzz all over the place and you get to see all their gorgeous colors, emeralds and amethysts, and to admire their pretty little eyes.

The last highlight of my day was the trek through the La Paz Waterfall Gardens, the property on which the Peace Lodge is situated.  A path leads you deep into the forest where you get to see three spectacular waterfalls.  The scenery is amazingly lush and wet green.  I made the trip into a photographic safari and took lots of pictures of amazing insects that I had not seen before.

Magia Blanca Waterfall, Costa Rica

The rest of the day was wonderful as well but this blog is not long enough to capture it all.  I am going off to sleep now very grateful to have some amazing adventures and to be witness to the amazing power of mother nature.

If you wish to see the photos of the amazing flora and fauna here in Costa Rica please check out Vision Quest Retreats.

As always much continued success and well-being on your journey!

White-Faced Coati

Just a quick entry before leaving the Arenal region and the volcano for the 3 hr drive to the Peace Lodge in the La Paz Water Fall Garden.  The remaining days of the journey will be spent here.  Not sure what we will find but I definitely hope to see more animals and especially the Blue Morpho (one of my special animals)

This morning I had a terrific breakfast, the casado, which is poached eggs, black beans and rice, fried plantain, corn tortillas, agua dulce (hot sugar cane water) and some delicious Costa Rican coffee. Also at breakfast we saw the White-Faced Coati, and a yellow Fly-Catcher.

I took a ton of pictures around the hotel then went to the hot springs for one last good soak where I was massaged by the hot rushing water fall.

Heading for the shower now then to dress and to catch the shuttle to San Jose.

If I can connect there I will.  Much continued success and well-being,

Nicole

In Book II of The Adventures of Isabelle the princess goes on a journey across the sea. At one point she finds herself on the banks of a magic river at night where she meets a very old man, a guide on the river. What happens after this I can not say but I think I may have found my river today. We took a safari rafting tour down the River Blanca. For about 2 hrs we floated and paddled lazily down this very calm river surrounded by lush green forest and lulled by the sound of the gentle water. I added many animals and plants to my sight list to include, crocodiles, iguanas, monkeys and several species of birds.  My favorite bird remains a small brilliant red and black bird named Cherisse’s Tanager.

After about 1.5 hrs we made a stop at a farm, La Rivera,  for a little snack, to see the farm and to meet the owner, a 98 year old man named Don Pedro.  As we lighted from the boat onto the bank I found it ironic that as our guide Pablo offered his hand he said “Princess.”  The story line for Isabelle is never really far from my mind but today it was very much on my mind as I realized that this journey down the river held some clues for me as to the direction of her story. After depositing our life jackets on the rail we ascended the wooden steps to the top of the hill then followed a wooden walkway to a wooden open air structure where we were to take our snack.  We sat at one of the little wooden tables as Pablo went over to have a word with Don Pedro who was already having an audience with some men who looked like his workers. Eventually we were beckoned over to meet the man.  He bade us sit down after introductions and began speaking to us in Spanish with Pablo translating occasionally.  It was very strange because although I understood very little of what he said I noticed his spirit.  I felt very peaceful in that little hot place sitting on a very broken down chair covered in a mat.  Every now and then Don Pedro would direct a comment my way really looking into my eyes.  I decided to just pay attention. It was like visiting an older and precious relative who you know must be cherished for the life they have lived, all they have seen and all that they know.  It was a truly special and totally unexpected experience.

Don Pedro & Pablo (our guide)

We did take a little meal there of hot coffee, cheese (made on the farm), fried plantain and yucca bread, which I have never had and really enjoyed.  Pablo showed us how they used to eat it as kids, the cheese with the plantain.  I had never had that either and it was delicious. As we ate and sipped our coffee Don Pedro’s daughter prattled on to Pablo. He explained to her that we were mother and daughter and this seemed to delight her. When we left she broke off a Hibiscus flower and gave one to each of us.

We left with many good byes and good wishes. As I walked away down the wooden path then back to the boat I knew that something very special had just occurred and felt very grateful for the experience.

The rest of the trip was easy if a bit hot as we were no longer covered by the trees and the wind had all but died away. 

I am taking advantage of this rain to record today’s adventure.  Tomorrow we move closer to San Jose to a different hotel. Don’t know quite what to expect but I will, as always, keep you posted.

The Scene at Night, Tabacon Hot Springs

As I have never been to Costa Rica I did not really know what to expect.  As a nature lover I fully expected to enjoy myself.  What I was not prepared for is the power of the rain forest and being so near an active volcano.  I’m not sure if it’s fair to call this the jungle but I like the smell and feel of that word a bit better than rain forest.

There is an amazing paradise here called the Tabacon Grand Spa which is built around some hot springs. This water, which is full of minerals, is heated by the volcano before it rushes down the mountain to this collection of pools surrounded by lush tropical vegetation. People just come here to walk through the gardens and soak in the pools.  It feels like a living Gauguin painting, with people lolling on the lawns and sitting around the pools. Brightly colored plants and lizards accent the green backdrop.

Lat evening I had the consummate pleasure of having a massage in one of the spa’s little bungalows tucked away in the tropical garden. The spa itself is a beautifully designed and laid out space, with a pool in the middle fed by the hot springs.  It was just nice to be unplugged and have no agenda except to just BE there. 

By the time my spa time was over it was dark out so I decided to explore the gardens and the baths at night.  It was a whole different world from in the day. The “jungle” was alive with sound and movement. Toads hopped along the path, people moved languidly from one pool to the next.  A small group of young people sat on the little lawn from which you can see the volcano.  I went and stood there for a while hoping to catch a glimpse of the red lava flows.  I did not see this but I did get to stand among the trees and watch the fireflies twinkle around me. After this I walked around the paths just enjoying the sultry atmosphere around me, steam occasionally wafting over me and fogging up my glasses.  I stood and watched some bathers under the water falls for a bit before heading down the hill along the little paths and crossing the bridges before coming to the bottom.

This place is really so wild that I find it hard to describe.  Right now I am sitting in the room listening to the roll of thunder and watching the rain pour down outside.

I can definitely envision bringing a Vision Quest Retreat here.  If you have interest drop me a line and join my mailing list.

Rebirth of the Time of Peace (Cutts)

After what seems like a whirlwind of activity over the past few months things have quieted down, but I feel like this is just the quiet before the storm. This often happens when it is time for me to rest up before the next big push. So what is the next big push?  Actually the signs have been pretty clear as to the direction in which I need to head now. I don’t want to be too specific on this forum but let’s just say the concentration is heading toward Book II in the Adventures of Isabelle and toward the retreats.

There are other changes a foot as well on a deeper or higher plane, depending how you look at it. I am heading into a birthday which is always a time full of magic and a lot of synchronicity…wild stuff usually happens around this time. This birthday is a very important one because many things are about to change. Again I don’t want to be too specific but let’s just say I am being moved to a different level in my life.

Now the really good news…I will be spending this birthday on an adventure in nature…which is my favorite thing in the world. It is going to be a time to reflect and generally just have fun.  I will as always keep you posted.

Hey if you are a woman and want to participate in the Vision Quest Project around the book I’m writing please complete the Vision Quest Survey!

Much continued success & well-being,

Nicole