The Vision Quest Chronicles: Tales of Living One's Vision

Why have you chosen to do the work you do?

I asked this question the other day at a workshop I was conducting on The Four Agreements.  More than a few participants looked at me as if I had lost my mind.  A few people murmured under their breath “to get paid of course” a few others admitted that this was their first job out of college or that they just needed  a job.  I wondered about this and realized that I found their answers somewhat depressing.  Later that day I asked two of my coaching clients  (one man & one woman) to tell me about their Visions for their lives.  I noticed that a transformation came over both of them as they told me about their dreams for their lives.  There was almost child-like wonder and a twinkle in their eyes as they shared these dreams with me. I noticed that I felt happy listening to them.  Later going home on the train I contemplated these scenarios and realized one reason why I do the work I do.

I started thinking about the uniquely human tendency we have to dream for a better life.  It seems that this is what makes us humans and what I find so precious when I am talking to people about their dreams and Visions.  Everyone seems to display that child-like quality of hopefulness when they engage in dreaming. Dreams can be very fragile and precious things. I realized that one thing I enjoy when coaching people is the feeling of being honored that they share their dreams with me and are enlisting my help in making these dreams a reality.

This dream sharing is just one element of why I love my work but it was a nice insight for me.

(first posted 9.30.09)

G*ddess Unites with Her Vision, detail (Cutts)

Is pink a power color?

I just got back from the Pennsylvannia Govorner’s Conference for Women in Philadelphia and I am still buzzing from the energy generated in a convention center filled with thousands of women! The speakers (male and female) were amazing as was the positive energy.  Their speeches were both empowering and informative, from Marcus Buckingham, to Judge Glenda Hatchet, to Suze Orman, who rocked the house. (I love her!) I saw tons of amazing powerful women with smiles on their faces driven by serious purpose, women living their Visions, women of all varieties with Visions just as diverse. I was able to connect with several of them and learn a bit about their stories…community organizers, writers, students, dancers, saleswomen, CEOs.  Some women I spoke to are very clear about their Visions, others finding their way.  Most of the women were there to learn, grow and to support each other.

I had gone up there hoping to be reinvigorated and redirected.  After suffering what I now realize (in part thanks to your comments) where minor setbacks  I was feeling down about my Vision. Originally I was going up to speak to a group of women at U Penn about the Vision Quest Project and my research for the book but as you may recall from my last post that did not come off.  Somehow I knew it would be okay and that things would work out as they should so I went with a sense of curiosity, wondering what I would find. I got so much energy and clarity from this adventure and was able to look at the potential spaces in which my buddy Dawn and I will hold the group when I go up to Philly in Oct.  I am very excited about this.

I had so many realizations that I can’t really capture them all here but I will give it a shot:

1) Once again my ego was trying to trip me up!  Why was I so crushed about my retreat not going as planned? Because I felt like a failure.  That is bunk! If my purpose and mission is to help people and especially women clarify and achieve their Visions for their lives then I can do that anywhere, not just in WV and not just on a retreat.  When I feel like a failure or worry about how I’m going to perform this is always a clue that my ego is too much in it.  When I ‘m being of service I don’t worry about stuff like that.  I just show up and give my best.

2) I’m still too impatient! My ego is also tied up in this last realization. It was hard for me to concentrate at times on the great speakers because all I could think about was how much I wanted to be up there on the stage talking about my research and my book and how much I wanted to be motivating the crowd. This is a form of “hating” that I must rid myself of if I am to truly realize my full potential and bring my gifts to the world.  Somewhere along the line I have started to grow tired of being a student and want to be the teacher only.  That is also crazy.  As soon as I think this way I will slow my growth and ultimately have less to give.

3) I’m even more powerful than I suspected!  As much as I’m facing my fears and living my Vision I am also still holding back in so many ways, allowing myself to be a victim of other people’s expectations and perceptions of me. I allow myself to feel defeated when others don’t support me or help me.  That is victim thinking and leaches my energy. The only one who has to believe in me and my Vision is me.There is more that I have not even processed and so much that I learned and figured out up there that I will be implementing over the next few months so it will show up in later posts but right now I need to go and get quiet…just wanted to share the energy.

I hope you had a peaceful week. Drop me a line and let me know how you are doing with your Visions!

(first posted 9.15.09)

I began my last post by asking if you ever feel like giving up on your Vision?

I received a few comments that confirmed what I already knew…I am not the only one who ever feels like this. I was feeling demoralized because a big part of my Vision, namely doing the Success Retreat for Women, was not coming together as I hoped it would. After putting it out there (marketing etc.) I was getting very little response and it was looking as if the retreat might not go off. Then on top of this my co-facilitator took a full time job and would not really be available. The energy was somehow wrong and I wondered if maybe I was on the wrong path and whether or not what I was offering was of value to others. I ultimately had to make a very tough decision.  I decided to postpone the retreat and maybe start smaller.  I thought the 3-day retreat was small enough!  I was angry and disappointed and frankly felt like I had failed.

After a few days of feeling down about this I had to re-group. I decided to go smaller and, with the help of  a friend, was setting up a meeting in Philadelphia with a group of women for Sept. 17.  It was perfect because at the same time I would be attending the Governor’s Conference for Women.  Groovy!  Maybe the retreat wasn’t happening yet but I had this to look forward to.  This was definitely forward movement! Then the call with my friend in Philly came…They are not having a good time in the city, budget cuts, programs ending, closures of all kinds set for Oct. 2.  Apparently these occurrences are not lending themselves to an atmosphere where a group of women want to sit down and discuss Visions and taking their careers to the next level.  What is that sound that Pacman used to make when he got eaten up by the ghosts? I think I understand how he felt

Then I got a call from another friend.  She wanted to know how the retreat was filling up because she had registered for it and wanted to make sure it was going off. I went home to get on line to find out that she and another woman had just registered!  What?! 2 people who were going to come?  I mean it was only Sept. 14.   Aaaaaaarggg! What had I done? Was I too nervous and jumpy? Should I have ignored the advice of friends and advisors? Had I pulled the plug too quickly? This occurence basically led me to conclude that I had no idea what I’m doing.

I am now RE-re-grouping.  I am tempted to say I am feeling confused by this turmoil and how I am feeling but this is not entirely true.  The truth is that I am getting a clear message from the universe to slow down, back up and don’t force it.  I hear the message but am not really ready to surrender to this invective just yet…slowly I will get there but there is still a bit of fight in me right now.  I want so much to MAKE something happen RIGHT NOW!, but ultimately I know this is not how Visions manifest.  So PATIENCE again? Yes…patience again.

Stay tuned till next time (psst…secretly I do know something good is coming soon).

Take the “Vision Quest Survey”: If you are a Woman (21 or older): Click Here to take survey

As of today: 158 women have completed it! 

Do you ever feel like giving up on your Vision? 

I wanted to call this post WTF?! (F stands for fudge of course) but decided that was not a good idea.  Since my last post there have been many ups and downs and frankly I have not felt like writing.  A big part of this apprehension lay in the fact that I did not want to write about anything negative in my blog…BUT, that is not being true to the nature of this blog, which is meant to chronicle the journey of one living her Vision.  The intent of the blog is to tell a story that hopefully others can identify with and get something from.  Therefore I can not pretend that living my Vision is always easy or fun.

When I returned from my wonderful trip to L.A. it was time to get down to marketing the first Women’s Success Retreat to be held Oct. 23-25.  The way I saw it I did not have much time.  I began my marketing efforts in earnest. Newsletter, facebook, twitter, a couple listserves, word of mouth etc.  Maybe I expected too much but basically I felt like I was shouting into a canyon and hearing crickets chirping back…nothing!  Hello? I began to wonder…is anyone out there?  Really worse than that I began to wonder…does anyone out there need what I am offering?  Am I useful?  I thought I had a purpose, a mission but maybe I was/am wrong.  Self doubt and doubt of my vision began to loom larger and larger and I went down.  Suddenly I did not feel so confident.  Usually I am very confident that I can pull of anything I undertake but suddenly that was gone and the fear of failure stood in its place.  I gave into this for a few days but have now regrouped.

This is the deal.  I AM living my Vision! No one said it would be easy or that I would always meet with immediate success.  I will try my best to be true to myself and my Vision and work as hard as I can to be of service to others.  I do not control the whole thing.  I believe that my Higher Power will take it from there.  I may succeed in the way I think I should or She/He/It may have different plans for me…that is the deal with being human.

Is my work done?  No I have much to do on both the physical and spiritual plain.  Physically I have to get off my but and market this retreat.  Spiritually I have to pray and meditate and keep my channels clean and open to be guided as to what my next steps should be and then I need the power to carry that out.

I’m off to bed now because I have a coaching client early in the morning downtown and then a workshop later in the day.  I will be on the look-out for the miracles this week.

Wish me luck as I do the same for you!

Take the “Vision Quest Survey”: If you are a Woman (21 or older): Click Here to take survey

As of today: 157 women have completed it! 

(first posted 9.7.09)

The View from Our Room

Greetings from sunny Los Angeles!

I have come here for a few days for reasons known and unknown.  As usual the unknown is slowly revealing itself to me.

I am feeling intense joy today on the path of living my Vision.  And I am doing just that…living my Vision.  You see LA is a very big part of my story. It was the quest of my Vision that first brought me out here in 1993.  I came out here to attend graduate school (in Clinical Psychology) but the underlying attraction of LA and why I was drawn here was because I saw this as a place where people flouted convention, instead choosing to follow their passions and to, as I call it, live from the inside out.  I always sensed that there was a spirit of adventure and entrepreneurship here and that excited me.  I wanted this. Did I find what I came for back then?  Yes, actually I did and so much more. The “more” is a story for another time.

So today I am in LA for two reasons (that I know of); 1) to spend a few days focusing on my Visions work i.e. writing my book, preparing for our first Women’s Vision Quest Retreat (Oct. 23-25 in Berkeley Springs, WV), and 2) to spend time with the man I am in love with. I mention this second reason, although not the focus of this blog, because it is a very important aspect of my life’s Vision. 

Before beginning work today I just wanted to write this post to share this moment.  One aspect of living a successful life is to share our stories with others.  For me this means sharing the struggles and the triumphs.  What follows is an excerpt from my personal journal in which I attempt, as best as I can, to capture my feelings in this moment.

8.26.09 “Good morning G*d/G*ddess. Thanks for waking me up this morning and thanks for all the blessings in my life. I am bursting with joy…forgot how much I love LA. This place is a huge part of my story. I’m a bit too overwhelmed by memory to capture it on paper, but it has to do with realized and unrealized dreams in this city and with my Visions that are now being born.  My tears have to do with being so young, happy and free when I was here. They also have to do with being so connected to my Higher Power and to being in love with _______.  The tears are especially about my dreams having come true and being so acutely aware of this.  I am now living the life I always dreamed of…adventure, love, doing the work I love.  Something has come over me…acute happiness, coming full circle. I’m in a state of suspended animation…in a bubble of such intense clarity pregnant with joy and wonder at it all.  I am so overwhelmed and have no idea what to do with all this bliss.  I can only do what the voice in the dream I had in Paris told me to do…’expand into the joy.’ ”

I close this entry by expressing my desire to never move from this spot, but of course that is not the nature of life…so I will move on and try to take up the work of the day.  As always I will report on my progress later.

Until then I wish you continued success and well being.

(first posted 8.26.09)

Julie and Julia (2009)

I went to see the movie Julie & Julia on Saturday night.  It was delightful and fun (always love watching Meryl Streep) but what I was really struck by was that it was a story about two women discovering and living their Visions.  Yes I do tend to see Visions everywhere I look (no pun intended) but this movie really was about living your Visions!

The movie tells of two women in different times living somewhat parallel lives, one being inspired by the other.  Two women, both of whom do not know what they want to do with their lives; they are somewhat lost and unfulfilled.  Almost by chance they stumble on doing something that is really their true passion.  Neither pursuit lends itself easily to making money and might even seem crazy to others.  Both go through struggles, frustrations and setbacks, and both end up being very successful in their respective fields in the end.  The other parallel is that they both had very loving and supportive husbands.

For Julia Child her story begins when she is living in France with her diplomat husband and she is looking for “something to do”.  She does not have children, and seems that she can not, and is not content to just fill her time lunching, shopping etc.  She tries her hand and several hobbies until one night at dinner she and her husband are discussing what she can do next.  Her husband (played wonderfully by Stanley Tucci) asks “What is it you really like to do?” (This question, by the way, is one you should ask yourself if you are searching for your Purpose or Vision.) With a laugh Julia responds…”Eat!” We, the audience, laugh at the seeming absurdity and irony in her answer.  How can eating be your Vision? Well Julia is passionate about food so she follows this passion and gets involved with food, enrolling in cooking classes at the famed Cordon Bleu cooking academy.  The rest, as they say, is history, but the reality in the movie, as in life is that there were many struggles, ups and downs and “failures” before her first book was published and she had her own TV shows.

For Julie Powell her story begins a bit differently.  She already knew what her passion was; writing, but she was not living this.  Instead, sidetracked after finishing Amherst with a double major in theater and creative writing, she was trapped in a job she hated and feeling “lost.” She was looking for something to save her from the abyss into which she had fallen and decided to learn to cook using Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.” Having learned of a friend’s recent success from writing a blog, she also decided to chronicle her cooking adventures in a blog, thus engaging in two of her passions; writing and cooking.  She created a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) (Jim Collins, 2001) Her BHAG; to execute 524 recipes in 365 days and blog about it.  She too went through many struggles, disappointments, and several meltdowns before achieving her goal.

So what can we take from this movie?  Both women were searching for a Vision. Both of them had passions and followed their instincts, by simply doing what they were drawn to. Both had BHAGs; 524 recipes, learning to cook, and publishing a book. Both went through many setbacks. Both had supportive partners.  Neither one gave up.

The results? Success;For Julia Child-several books, TV shows, awards, a feeling of fulfillment and creations that changed an entire culture and brought joy to several generations.  For Julie Powell-a successful blog then book now movie, rediscovering and living her true passion, finding herself and a the making of a movie that can inspire others to discover and live their Visions.

If you are living or attempting to live your Vision and have not already seen this movie I highly recommend it. Go see it then do me a favor…drop me a line and tell me what you think.

(first posted 8.17.09)

Listen to Roland S. Martin’s Urban Business Roundtable as Dr. Nicole Cutts discusses…  “How a Vision Board can Lead to Personal & Business Success“  

Air Dates: 

Thurs. August 13th 7:30 EST (6:30-7 pm CST)

Sat. August 15th 10:30 EST (9:30-10 am CST)

Listen online @ www.wvon.com 

(first posted 8.11.09)

One of My Vision Boards

Do you need some positive reinforcement? Give it to yourself!

In my last post “Time to Take Stock” I did an inventory of where I am with my Vision.  That was a very helpful exercise; helping me to feel re-focused.  I also made mention of all the wonderful synchronicity that is taking place around my Vision. I can’t go into all the instances of synchronicity going on right now, but I will share with you that a colleague gifted me with a wonderful tool that I am using to help keep my focus going.  It is a book titled “Living with your Success: A 90-day Self-Programming Guide” (Penny Potter, 1992).  It is fairly simple but one of the main ideas is that you positively reinforce your success by keeping track of your successes on a daily basis.  I have done this for some time but I do not do it on a daily basis.  The idea with this guide is that you write down who and where you are now, 3 goals you want to accomplish in the next 90 days, and then every day you write your successes for that day, noting the ones connected with one of your 3 goals.

I have only been doing it a few days but so far so good and more importantly it is fun and positive and combats my tendency toward high expectations and putting a ton of pressure on myself. Putting to much pressure on myself (read perfectionism) usually hampers my progress. Instead of looking for a “slam dunk” on a daily basis I can enjoy racking up points consistently.

I also want to share with you an article in which I was quoted that you may find very helpful, Clear the Way: The power and purpose behind developing a vision board (Black Enterprise, August, 2009 p. 80 by: Tamara E. Holmes). The article discusses how using a Vision Board can lead to your ultimate success. If you don’t already do Vision Boards or Treasure Mapping you may want to try it and  this article gives you some basics to get started.

As always you are invited to share your story with readers.  Please leave a comment and tell me where are you with your Visions!

Until next time…much continued success & well-being,

Nicole

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(first posted 8.8.09)