The Vision Quest Chronicles: Tales of Living One's Vision

This is part II of my visit with artist, Lilian Thomas Burwell, that took place on 4.26.09 in Highland Beach, MD. In my last installment I talked about some answers I received from Lilian regarding an issue I had been struggling with; the validity of my Vision.

Sometimes I wonder how, if you are living your Vision to its fullest, does a romantic relationship fit in there? How does one balance relationships with people with ones relationship with her Vision? I have also often wondered if the reason that I am not currently in a relationship is related to the fact that I may need to give so much of myself to my Vision. I wonder if my Higher Power or the Universe knows best and if that is why I don’t have that romantic relationship right now. Maybe space is being made for me to do what I was meant to do. I have noticed that for many women it seems to be so much more of a challenge to balance relationships, family and career. The prevailing expectation is society remains that a woman is still expected to support a man in his work while he supports her or the family with his work. I have always found that this model does not really suit me. Additionally I find that many men have a hard time with the idea of a woman whose work is of primary importance in her life. I know that personally some men that I have interacted with are quick to decide that I am too busy for them. Obviously those are not the men for me, but it’s strange because in a way more and more since I have become more involved in living my Vision I wonder if they are right. However, living my Vision does not eliminate the desire for a romantic relationship.

Something told me that Lilian knew something of this dilemma. She was married long ago and raised one child, a daughter. She has been divorced for many years, was a single parent and is currently single. She is a very strong independent woman and although she has desired it, has not been in that relationship most people dream of, with “The One.” As she puts it, she is an incurable romantic and if he came along tomorrow she would go for it. I completely relate to this!

I asked her pretty much point blank. Do you think there is a reason that you don’t have this relationship? Do you think God has something to do with this? Lilian said that she does not presume to know what God is thinking but that although she desires this she also has learned to accept things as they are. She also said that perhaps the space that is left by the absence of this relationship is meant for her to fill with her creations and the work she does with and for others. She alluded a few times to this emptying out and how this space must be filled. She also said that not always getting what she wants has meant that she has gotten so much more and that she truly believes that she is living the life God intended for her and is confident that this God loves her more than she could have ever imagined before. She also told me that this desire for love and romance should not be ignored and that as an artist it comes out in other ways. This is true. You can see so much passion and sensuality in her work!

So did Lilian answer my questions for me? Of course not. She gave me a lot of clues, but as she said we only truly “know” something when we live it. My answers are still coming and as Lilian said…I can not presume to know what is in the mind of God. I know for myself that there is something to be found in the space of being alone and yes even in loneliness. I have found many answers in this void and a part of my generativity has come from this place, but more of course remains to be realized.

(first posted 4.28.09)

Lilian with one of her creations

Today the quest took me to Highland Beach near Annapolis. I went there to interview and visit with my friend, artist, Lilian Burwell, but really I was in search of answers. How Lilian came to be in my life is another story (certainly worth telling, but not just now). Lilian lives and works here near the beach in a peaceful beautiful home filled with her creations. Being with her is always an adventure and a treat. Lilian is like a g*ddess, beautiful and wise and mischevious, not to mention a Gemini like myself. I wanted to interview Lilian for the book I am writing on women and their Visions because I see her as a woman who is living her Vision. She just published a book titled “A Dichotomy of Passions: The Two Masters” and I wanted to get a copy from her. I also knew, that as always, she would have something to tell me that I needed to hear.

When Lilian and I are together it is a bit crazy…two Geminis who never stop talking, but today I was much more in the mood to just listen. When one Gemini is 38 and the other is an almost 82 year old, much accomplished woman, it is a no-brainer which one needs to shut up and listen. At brunch I had just launched into telling her about my Vision, about the book and this blog and the retreats I have planned, when she cut me off. At first I was perturbed, but then I realized that I was getting an answer to one of the big questions I had come seeking answers for. What she said was that she used to tell her students how important it was to have your own vision, to do what you love, not what others think you should do, and that it did not matter what others thought of you or the work, but what mattered was that you needed to love that thing. She said, the money does not matter, what matters is that you do what you love even if you need to have another job to support that addiction (Vision). I came to see her plagued with doubts about the value of my own Vision…wondering if anybody even wanted what I am offering, worrying about the perceived lack of response to what I am putting out there even though I know it is from my heart. Lilian, this oracle of Highland Beach was telling me what my Higher Power had been trying to tell me in so many ways over the past week. If you feel it do it! and don’t worry about the life it takes on or about judging it…just do it. This was so important for me to hear, because I struggle with this all the time. I’m doing what I want but get too caught up in the results.

We talked about so much more today…we did do the interview and after we went to the beach to cool out and enjoy the sunshine. I could probably write 5 pages on just this one day with Lilian. I could also tell you about the second burning question I came down with and what her answer was about that…but I’ll save it for another installment.

(first posted 4.26.09)